Investing (your life) in a startup

on making friends

On making friends

I wrote recently about the difficulties of making guys friends in a new place.

It's not some impossible task, it just feels incredibly awkward. Beyond joining an intramural sports league, good advice on how to do it just isn't out there.

I have a friend who moved to Los Angeles from New Jersey a few months ago. He knew literally 0 people, so he slept on a friend of a friend's couch when he first arrived. He spent his first few weekends hanging out alone, going to bars to watch sports and watching movies at his place. He would mention how it was easier to make new girl friends. It's not abnormal for a completely random guy to approach a girl at a bar to start a conversation. But a guy approaching another guy at the bar just to make friend? Doesn't really happen. Eventually he found is way and now he has a solid group of buddies to hang with.

Fast-forward a few months, and I just moved from New York to San Francisco. I know a guy here or there, but by no means, have a solid group of friends to hang out with. I figured I would have the same experience as my buddy for the first few weeks. Instead, I reached out to a person I know, who is connected with friends all over the world. I shot him an email saying I had recently moved to San Francisco and knew no one.

Five minutes later my inbox started piling up with emails from his friends asking me to grab beers. Every night this week I'm grabbing a beer with a guy that will ultimately become a friend. After just one email, I went from feeling alone and worried that I'd never make new friends out here, to feeling like my calendar was about to explode and worried that I might be meeting too many people.

It's a nice problem to have. The next time you find yourself lamenting about the fact you don't have enough friends, just ask someone you know and like to introduce you to more. It will be far less painful then approaching a random dude at the bar to go out on a friend date.

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